Thursday, September 22, 2011

Married woman i need your advise?

Hello I am 24 years old tomorrow and i have been married to my husband for 2 years almost and we are already having some problems. In December we had a beautiful little girl and now we are always arguing and he has gotten more controling and has been irritating me a lot more sense i had our daughter. Monday thru Friday I am stuck in the house all day every day and on weekends i wanna go do laundry or something he has to drive me. I have a truck but it needs the thermostat changed and we have the part but he hasn't been able to fix it cause its been very cold outside lately and we haven't had the money to take it to the shop. We have 2 dogs and he doesn't take care of them i have to everything while all he does is work and come home a sit on the couch on his phone. He doesn't even help with our daughter either and he will sit there and watch my every move with her and lecture me if i do something he doesn't like. Now he wants me to move in with his grandpa and help take care of him and take care of 2 dogs and a 2 month old. I would have no vehicle so i can go do whatever instead of being locked up and he said if i wanna go somewhere his mother or my parents can drive me. It feels like i have no freedom at all and I can't just get in his car and go when ever i want cause its his and nothing is ever ours when it comes to him. I am a at home mother and wanna go back to work so i have something i can call mine and it sucks when you have no daycare cause its $40 a day here, and no vehicle to look for work and everything either. I wanna get some money i have to have a good reason for needing it and OMG i hate this but i dont know how to talk to my husband about this with out him getting the wrong impression or him getting angry either.

Is it wrong that i feel like i have no freedom? Is it wrong for me to feel all this anger toward my husband? Does my husband watching my every move with our daughter make me a bad mother when she is my 4th child and his 1st child? Is it wrong that i wanna have a vehicle if i am gonna be living with his grandpa outside of town where i cant walk to go anywhere? (if i wanna walk some place i would be walking 5 miles into town!!!)

Please help me out here!!!!Married woman i need your advise?
tell him how you feel, say come here lets colm down for a minute, talk about it, your conversation will help you, tell him about your problems, and if you are going to get a devorce dont because it would be horrible for the kids i would no my parents are devorced and i no about alot, so tell him how you feel try your best to find a close job,and than when you get enough money for a car, get one, than find a better job for you that you like that mite pay better,than you can stop you other job,but trust me say i dont want to start a fite if it starts and trust me never get a devorceMarried woman i need your advise?
It doesn't take long to fix a thermostat,20 minutes at most,you need to put your foot down,now before it goes any further.Married woman i need your advise?
can the other kids help any u said u have 4 kids...u could be suffering from post partum depression or being drawn further into a mentally abusive situation that will become more and more difficult to get out ofMarried woman i need your advise?
a) the thermostat on the car costs less than $10 and it's as easy to change as the oil

b) tell him you need to dump the dogs.

c) Your world is what YOU make of it. If it sucks, it's your fault. You always have options. Think of what YOU need to do to make your situation better and do it. Make this your motto and your world will improve because you take full responsibility for everything that happens.Married woman i need your advise?
This is what i would do how old is your daughter by the way..(well its okay forget it) so during the day call a friend and ask her if she wants to go out to eat?...(Set it up around the time your husband comes from work..) so when he comes tell him you will be right back (if you need to pump milk whatever do it before he comes home ..........okay so then leave with your friend and go and have a good time ........then when you come home tell him where you went but if he gets mad tell him why you left .........(this might not work if your husband might think you were cheating on him) ......oh yeah when you get in the car and about 5 min. into the drive call him and tell him that your leaving to go out with your friends...............whe you come back home and your done explaining if your daughter is asleep start to give him lots of romance and explain to him how you love him but how he has been acting lately...............GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oxoxoxoxoxMarried woman i need your advise?
When you child is a little older maybe you could be a day care center for a couple of kids and make some money.



On the weekends, gather your laundry and hop in his car and go do laundry. He will have to take care of the kid.Married woman i need your advise?
Open your own day care. Let people pay YOU $40 a day to watch their kids. Then you can have some income of your own. He'll also need to get your car fixed in case one of the kids has to go to the ER or something.



As for your feelings, that's exactly how I'd feel in your situation. That's why I decided long ago NO KIDS! And your husband sounds like a control freak. And a lazy bum, if he won't help with his own kid.Married woman i need your advise?
I don't think its wrong that you feel that way, you have you reasons to do it. I am married too, no children, but his things are mine and mine are his and I think that is the way a marriage should be, plus communication. I don't think its wrong you want a vehicle, what about if you need to take the baby to an emergency (hoping that never happens) or you just need to get out to get food or diapers or something. Plus on top of that take care of an elder person, I mean, you have a lot already. Talk to him, try to do it calm, but there is no other way beside putting everything on the table and dealing with the issues. Plus, why does he wants you to move with his grandfather, you have a baby to take care of. Put everything on the table and explain to him your needs and that he needs to help you take care of the baby, after all is his too. I hope you get everything ok. Good luck.Married woman i need your advise?
i'm not married :)

but I think you should just sit him down, look him in the eye and say

%26quot;a. Help me with the dogs or I'm not going to take care of them anymore.

b. Come with me to fix the thermostat.

c. It only costs a few bucks.

d. We have a daughter who only has a mother.

e. If you are going to force me to be your father's caretaker you are getting me a new car since you work all the time.

f. I'm getting a job.

g. I'm capable of taking care of our daughter so stop criticizing me.

h. seriously, I LOVE YOU.%26quot;



and yes you have a right to feel that way because if I were you I would go insane.Married woman i need your advise?
Don't let him treat you that way, he is your daughter's daddy not YOURS!!!!!! have a back bone stand up for yourself. When you married him you married his belongings as well, so his car is your car and you have every right to drive it when you please. Have you talked to your family about this? what do they say? All I can say is %26quot;Do you%26quot; dont ever let some one run your life for you, you can be a good wife and take care of you kids with out him having to tell you anything. You get married to SHARE your life with your husband and not for him to take over your life. good luckMarried woman i need your advise?
no, NO moving in with his grandpa, you'll throw your youth away caring for some old man, find a friend and start being more independent. you need to be around women in their 20's, and please go to a bible based church.Married woman i need your advise?
I be telling him that he needs to get busy on that thermostat, If something was to happen while he was at work and you needed to get somewhere fast, you wouldn't be able to get there. Make sure that he understands your worries.And i wouldn't go back to work so soon if you can afford it, wait till you don't have to pay day care because it get expensive, wait until the baby starts school, and if you do go to take care of grandpa, u will definitely need a car so if you need to you can get him to hospital if need to. My hubby tried that stuff with me and i decided i would put my own part in my own car, it pissed him off but we together finally get it put back together, he didn't like that fact that the neighbors where watching me fix my own car in the front yard by myself. and now we been happily married 17 yrsMarried woman i need your advise?
since you are the caregiver of the dogs, call the animal shelter and ask if they can take them. next tell your husband that you are not a nurse, and furthermore, they are not your grandparents to take care of. while an occasional visit, and an offer to stay and relieve your inlaws would be a nice suggestion on your husbands part, it is not your responsibility.

furthermore, yes you do need a vehicle (especially with 4 kids) to get around in. i dont care if its just to the dollar store to look at a pair of panties, this is 2009!!!

you are a mother and should be enjoying that, not being miserable!!!

sounds like you got a real winner there

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